The Broken King

I read this article on the 8 reasons women cheat.  In retro spect I belive out of all my relationships I was cheated on except two

Not a good ratio

I was once mighty feared loved revered.

When i spoke men listened when i walked man trembled before me .

I believed i was immortal. But like many others i fell on the field of life. forgotten.

And now people talk about me as if i was nothing . Even though i have fallen i will still outlast

you . for i can be resurrected  death knows not my name I just need someone to believe in me again.

believe that i am worth something . and i shall rise again .

Don't mistake my silence for a weakness.

I’m built for this mentally. The lord took everything i loved away .

I've fallen  pulled knives out of my back .

I can go years with out a feeling of remorse.

for I'm the king of broken . My heart has no remorse no love left.

they say you are what they say you are.

Broken .

Let me   Love you .

Let me in your life . The walls you put up I will break down . My feelings fuel the machine that

is my mind . I will out last your pain i will defeat your doubt . Fear me for I will not let you slip away.

Some called me broken you called me perfect. So let me be the one to love you .

let me be the one to change the way you see love .

Let me  and you will know .

Brandon

I’m crazy for you . I came down from heaven just to sing a song to you .

My heart beats to the rhythm of love . I sing to you when the darkness brings you to tears.

Let me be your angel . Can you hear me singing to you . Follow the my words and i will wait for you.

And when he calls for me to return . I will forsake him for your love is all i need. I rather be a fallen angel in your arms .

than one amongst the clouds. and If i should fall again and the darkness consumes my heart  sing to me . And your words will

bring heaven to hell.

As I lay here in bed alone I can't help but think. No I can't help but know that the circumstances. That lead me here I just don't understand.  Where did I go wrong. From the begining you tell your self you met this person for a reason some how some way they were ment to change your life for good or bad. But how can you truley know. You care for people but how do you know that there feelings are genuine

I try to be strong through these challenging days. I try and overcome the challenges that fall before me

but when i look in her eyes. Its a friend i see its a friend i want . These days there just is no one to talk to .

  Your heart ways heavy  You lie to yourself but never to me . Love him you don’t 

This i see in your eyes  lay with a stranger bed with him lie to your self tell him there is no other. when others remain. Your secret is my secret.

Do you remember the secret we shared hate me to the world .

behind close doors love me .

The lies we told the things we did . But alone your embrace was unmatched . You lusted for me like i was your life. I craved you  with a insatiable hunger.

do these feelings live with in another.

Lets talk money lets talk girls.

lets talk about the good  lets talk about the bad.

I may be broken but my hands still touch the heavens above.

Girls still want to be with me . broken and all but my heart  belongs to know one .

when they call the phone rings. and rings but i rather sit here alone then lay down with a liar .

I will survive thse days I will

Love the angel i would give my soul to .

Tell me what must i do what must endure.  temptation

to be with you I stand here admiring .

Do I become what i must .

Or do i take from others.  What's his will be mine .

the route of a conquer . Or the route of a saint. praying and waiting for love the grace me .

tell me Love and I shall do.

Anderson how do I tell her . How do i tell her that her voice i adore .

Her smile i long for . intimacy  i dare not want for my joy comes from her.

Not what she can do for me via lust or wealth .

But the momentary joy from a joke . A heart warming conversation.

How do I .

My queen she turns her back on me when my anger peaks .

She hides her eyes from the madness of men .

she knows that my heart is my armor. And my mind is my sword.

When blood comes and my enemies fall its her love that cages the monster.

And with out her in my life I will never rest for WAR is all i know.

Love me again my queen  turn to me  hold me wipe the pain from my eyes. as the blood stains my hands.

She cries because of me . She cries for the world scares her .

she was looking for a love but the world gave her doubt.

And when he’s gone all that remains is the pain.

the pain of being alone.

the pains of the day the pains of the night. she sees me when she’s all alone.

tears fall and anger fills her heart as she speaks my name. days pass feelings fade .

and tears are no more.

and all that remains in the day the moment when a heart says i’m ok love me again .

As I lay here and you walk the earth with hate in your heart. Know that in death I will always have unconditional love for you .

As the angels stand above my tomb silencing my screams for you . Asking for forgiveness. Asking for your love  your tears. To touch the ground that holds me down.

holding me from touching your face. from wiping those tears i brought to your face away .

You will always be in my heart. the mother the father .

Today was a day of days I was brought to tears. With everything hitting me at once. I derive my strength from my anger. But when you have a feeling of hopelessness i am but a man . beaten

Judge me  tell me my wrongs. Teach me right from wrong .  Where i have hated teach me to love before you right me off.

I am but a man wanting to be more .

Dear Anderson,

I hope I can see my self in you .

I hope me and your mother love will last for a lifetime .

i hope you love me and admire me .

I hope you will always want to talk to me .

For when you fall ill be there.

When the nights scare you call my name and i will stand with you against the shadows of the night.

Your one and only father .

Brandon Jackson

This morning i dreamed that you were next to me .

This morning i awoke to you by my side.

I awoke to the touch of love. to the cries of me .

In another room . As i laid there with nothing but darkness and the touch of a cold pillow.

I knew the truth .

I dreamed a lie.

Dear Anderson,

At night i cant sleep haunted by the last words of my ex . Its not what she said its the intent behind it.

The repercussions  of are act I can deal with for i never back down from my responsibilities.  I just don't know how to process it all.

Time will heal that wound .

I have conceded to the thought that maybe two people can be cancer to each other despite there  desire for each other. And despite how much you try to be together the world will see to it that you are apart.  I hate to admit it but maybe that's the only answer.

I sat down and talked to this woman who reminds me of a part of my life i lived 5 years ago. Her story sparks memories of love that i once shared for another. As I sat there talking to her i could see the hopeless ness she had for happiness. And the man she hopes to find one day i was that man for another A feeling i dare not enter into again for it left me broken when it all ended . As her eyes watered I hope to give her inspiration. But all i can give her is my words and hope they fall on her worried heart.

And  as I share my bed my life with no one I do so knowingly that to lay alone may be taxing at times but its a necessity to keep the mind at peace.

Br@ndon J@ckson

Have you ever laid there and said to your self. The beginning and the end can never be the same .

Life has before you two doors. which do you take freedom to the unknown . And the other the past.

both doors have there ups and downs. One you know but you ask your self is it better than the unknown do you go for the sure thing or the unknown.

You tell your self its love you tell your self its happiness . But is it a lie.

The unknown is lonely the unknown is a chance.

as i close my eyes and turn the knob.

Hater. Hater

You +a weak mind x insecurity = Hater.

You know how it goes

What did i say to make you hate me so .

what did i do to make you hate me.

Even though you hate me .

I still think of the .

You say you hate me and i reply i still love you .

How twisted love can be.

Dear anderson what are we to do .