She calls me ….

She calls me when she has the urge .

She calls me when she needs to feelings of another.

She calls me when no other will do.

I'm just her weekend lover.

I'm her Friday Saturday Sunday man.

I'm not her man nor is she my lady.

She doesn't want my heart nor does she want to share her life with me.

She says I'm just her weekend lover.

She calls and says I want you ….

So come on over .

She calls me

Her weekend lover.

Go slow .

Go slow lets pretend this is my last time I will see you.

So lets take it slow . Leave the lights on .

Come closer but not to fast. I want to enjoy every slow wind .

You pull at my shirt as my hands slide up and down your thigh.

You start to kiss me with the lust of many . I tell you slow .

To be continued. ………….

She used to be jealous .

She said fuck me leaving high and dry.

Flaunting men in front of me .

Walking away holding there hand looking back at me.

I can't lie seeing her with those lames hurt.

But I cant let her see the effect of a broken heart.

Late nights id call and hang up . drive by her house wanting to say

I'm sorry.

I've stood in front of her door.

And walked away.

Why

Let it die.

It may not mean nothing to you but I will never stop .

I cant stop for she is out there looking for me. And as I walk the path not taken. I know are paths

Will cross and the union will be worth the trip . Two paths no matter which way we go we will meet in the end.

I bare the scars of doubt I bare the scars of uncertainty.

In the beginning you said love is all you needed.

You said I was the one you had always wanted.

You looked me in my eyes holding me kissing me

Telling me you loved me.

Now

You lie

You tell me things aren't the same . And your unsure of love.

Your unsure that we can even be .

Love isn't changing someone .

Love is accepting .

Can't help but wait.

I can't help but wait for you . I see you with him I stand here watching your tears fall.

I can't help but wait for you .

I want to be what he's not .

He leaves you all alone wanting the love he can never give .

No more waiting

I'm sorry today your tears will fall no more.

Today my heart is your lay your head on me let my heart let my words heal you .

Let me be break the chains of hopelessness.

He says he likes you.

When I say I love you .

Close your eyes and your heart will show you the way.

The feelings we feel it’s a dangerous love affair.
My bonnie my love  she is everything I’m not .
A angel among women a savor among the lost.
My Bonnie stands next to me . My bonnie see what I cant
My bonnie bares my name she is my queen amongst the masses .
So march with me.
So march with me into the unknown and when darkness consumes us . Your hand I will reach for your hand I will never let go.
I can do anything
I can be anything
I just need the love of my Bonnie.

What would you do .
If I put my hands on you .
What would you do if I told you to close yours eyes.
And kiss turned to two.
What would you do if  a touch turned to a grasp .
Would you say you want more would you turn me away.
Would you grab me  would your innocence turn to lust .
What would you do .

The feelings we feel it’s a dangerous love affair.
My bonnie my love  she is everything I’m not .
A angel among women a savor among the lost.
My Bonnie stands next to me . My bonnie see what I cant
My bonnie bares my name she is my queen amongst the masses .
So march with me.
So march with me into the unknown and when darkness consumes us . Your hand I will reach for your hand I will never let go.
I can do anything
I can be anything
I just need the love of my Bonnie.

My 04,05 Bonnie

At that time in my life I was mature enough to truly understand love . She had a son not mine but I wanted him to be mine. Where I failed with the other I endured and overcame . And in the middle of the night the world stole her from me. I had to hide her from the world. In doing so I lost her and the world still found her.

The world I wanted dead I wanted hollow out the world .

Lord i pray this night . i pray that you wipe these thoughts from my mind i pray that i can endure what my heart is screaming out in pain for. i pray that you help me make the choices i need to make in order to do the things i cant. i am your lost son. lost in life lost in love . lost as a son lost as a brother. help me.

Where oh where did I go wrong .

I was driving home on the highway and got ran off the road… so pissed  messed up my car.

The mirror .

Something you may not realize but if you have ever stood in front of the mirror next to someone you love . guy or girl it matters not . But the mirror is like a photo . When you stand there alone your mind puts that person next to you . because rarely do you see each other side by side and when I stand in the mirror my mind opens and I see my past until I stand in the mirror again with another.

Today well what can I say it was a trying day. I wish I had my old car today. Nothing like popping the sun roof rolling down the windows and revving it hard through traffic. And if I’m lucky id have a girl by my side.. there is nothing like 100mph therapy.

There is nothing like grabbing the one you love stripping her clothes off and loving her.