Baby

Darkchild&Brandon.

Now I don’t know what my life will be with out you . But let me think about it. Will the sun shine will the birds chirp yes. Will I smile will yes but never when I remember you . Maybe a tear maybe a hateful remark. When I hear your name. when I’m in the arms of another I will tell of your exploits and the pain you caused. .Leaving out my wrongs of course…And that’s what life will be with out Brandon..

Legendary

480 to I -20 running hard weaving through traffic with the beat rumbling thought the speakers .

Engine revving engine touching redline. Lost in my thoughts . Lost in time racing against the thoughts that

Hold no answers. Racing against the answers to the questions she can never answer. She knows not how I feel she knows not of the weight I carry on my shoulders .

What am I .

What am I .

Mother what am I .

Father what am I.

Mother am I your wisdom am I smile . Is your gift my gift can I write I like you .

Look what you made .

A reflection of man a reflection of woman.

I breathe because of you I dream because of you .

Son brother friend.

Father what am I

Am I the coldness in your heart. Can I hide my pain Like you hide your love for me.

Look what you made

The shadows of man the pain of woman.

I cry I cause pain because of you .

Man devil angel I am.

Can you hear what I’m saying when I say .

I’m a fucking sinner.

I’m a man who has lied .

I’m a man who has harmed others a man who has caused tears to fall.

I am a dream killer.

I am hated by some loved by few.

My mind knows I’m a sinner.

My heart knows my wrongs .

But yet I try to be more

I try to smile.

But still sinner I am.

Can you hear me … when I say I am the best…

Is it because Mamma Made me a winner.

When tears fall I see the light when pain swallows me .

I press on . For I am the best ..

Because mamma made me a winner in a land full of sinners.

She taught me to believe in my self when no one will.

She taught me to hide with in my self my fears.

Can you hear me.

When I say

I’m a winner

Dear, Mamma

I’ve gotten into trouble again … I try but you know I’ll never change.

I am what I am .some things I will never change .

My skin is mine till I die .

My feelings are mine .

My feelings for you . ..

You

I want girl like you till my last day.

To smile at me when she sees my face .

A girl like you who can’t keep her hands off me .

A girl who uses my name and god in the same sentence when well you know.

My lady is my lady for a life time.

These things will never change.

D@rkchild.

You laugh.

When my head falls low.

You smile when my left hand no longer carried the symbol of love.

You laugh when I dared not to get up from the fight of my life.

As I took my breath

You laughed when they said love will never knock at my door..

You smiled along with others as I cried over her .

Why

Why do you do these things to me when I just wanted to be a friend to you .

Why . Do you say I can trust you when all that comes out of your mouth are hurt full things.

As I say goodbye you say that I’m no good for you . But your no good for me .

So why. ..

The biggest mistake in my life is to have thought time would wait for me . Years pass and in my minds just days . I thought no I believed that time would wait for me . But I sit here listening to the voices of the past seeing and hearing how they have moved on . My heart crushed but knowing all the time. Maybe it’s the dreams or the memories I hold on to curse my future. To let go is to live to remember and hold on is to die. Let life be to live life knowing you can’t hold anything lets you keep moving ..

With the thought of a child coming in this world . Blessed with all that I have. Some say I will repeat the cycle of my past . I will be my fathers son. But to bad I never really knew the man so how can I be like the man .

It seems like it never mattered.

I feel for you, you feel for me .

You were getting over him I understood.

I told you I would make you happy I would respect you where he didn’t

Your body I wanted your kisses I dreamt of . But a lie you were living.

You approached me drunk wanting me . I said no for I wanted our first time to be

Special you thanked me . And said I know you care . Days passed and the phone rang.

And a hello became I have to tell you something.

As my heart skipped a beat you replied I slept with him and I know I’m sorry won’t change it .

It just happened .

As my heart crumbled so then did our love.

Click….

Remember, remember, remember …..

Remember when my name was just another name.

Remember when it started with a hello .

Remember when you laughed remember when you knew you loved me.

Remember the better times.

There were so many times I fell short but I tried to be man you needed.

I tried and tried but you said it wasn’t good enough.

And so you said bye and I said I love you .

But it was to late.

You walked away leaving my heart to ache for you .

Leaving me with memories of I love you .