I'm burnt out both mentally and physically and when i seek refuge. in otheres they seek to burn me out even further. as i strive to survive . i find my self in situations that my mind can't handle. thus leaving me stressed. i want so much but my hands can only carry so much . what am i to do the more i try and hold on to it all the more i loose. and i fear that one day i'll  look down and my hands will be eympty and then what am i to do . do i turn and try to gatherall that i lost and start over . i just want an alliebut all i seem to find are foes  i sometimes see my future in the eyes of another but how do you get them to see

Let it rain

 

Tell your man he can’t stop the rain .

Tell him it doesn’t have to be the way it is.

Call me once I can look past it .

Call me twice and so begins the rain.

I wanted to find peace with the lord.

But because of you I’ll live by the sword.

Let it rain.

On me extinguish the flame in me .

Retire my anger

Bleed out the hate that runs through my veins.

For the difference lives in me.

 

 

 

Are you not entertained.

Read this hate this love this.

My words my heart my pain my tears my screams….

Read my joys and rejoice with me .

Read my pains and cry with me as my heart breaks with each word.

And when I write to hope say.

What more can I say  what more can I do .

To inspire you to write .

Some read for the love some read to learn about my heart. But some read to

Cheer my falls and  rejoice at there joy. But know …

I and only I will be entertained.

In the

End.

 

 

Do you wanna know.

Why do I write.

Why do I every damn night

Why am I cursed with these thoughts.

Is it my past is it my love is it my heart broken mind.

Its my pain

Its my struggle.

Its my sanctuary

Its my girl

Its my world.

 

 

Never again … II

Never will I let you control my mind.

Never will I cry over you never will I beg. For you by my side.

Never will the thought pass my mind. Of the past of my future.  And this I ‘m thankful for. 

And this is the end.

Never again.

 

 

I felt like you feed off my pain.

Rewind time a darko classic.

If I could do it all over again I wouldn’t start from the beginning I’d start from the end.

That last phone call I’d never answer.

That last email I got I’d never open it.

I would have laughed instead of beg for your love that day 8 months ago.

I would have returned under a silent eye

I would have changed my number .

 And when I learned of it all I wouldn’t have cared.

 

 

 

Emerald City . II

As the road continues to the wiz .

I look back blindly as the road I traveled blurs as my past becomes but a memory only able to live in the past words of  my site and as the pictures of my past fade into the background slowly deleted. Slowly goes the feeling that came with them. As letter after letter exits my home . I know that the tin man will once again find a heart.

 

 

The heart of the city .

I’m a dreamer  a believer a lover .

I’m good but I’m not great enough .

I fear my self .

I fear the yes the no the I’ll be there the I’m leaving.

I’m fearing my self.

As the days go on people try to tell me shit but I don’t want to hear them .

I don’t even know how to be me.

Do this do that

Where is me in all of it.

 

December 26^th

Remember ,remember the 26^th of December.

The day Brandon was torn to cinders  remember

Remember the bloodiest day of December.

The day tears fell tHe day I dropped my sword.

The day I picked up the pen.

So remember ,remember the 26^th of December

The day D@rkChild was bOrn from the cinders. The day

The darkness gave birth to hope the day the light once again reached my soul.

The day the Pen saved my life the day my mind sought peace behind the pen . the day the past meet the pen the day life meet death .

But as December 26^th 2006 comEs its not the pen I will hold not the sword. But hope  for the difference lives not in me but in her..

D@rkchild.  

Ladies and gentlemen people with jobs people without joBs middle class upper cLass cats, chickens and dUcks I present t you for your reading Entertainment. The one the only  D@rkchild  in

 

The first kiss.

 

It feels like I’m ready as I’m holding you  .

I know this is a lot to ask when you feel this way.

As the night draws to an end . And your in my arms.

Looking deep into your EYES . So ManY thoughts but only

One thing I want to do .

I want to pull you even closer.

I want to tell you .

I want to tell you the SECRET my heart holDs.

I want you to know just incase this is the last time I see you

So let me tell you that my heart is yours .

Let me tell you that I’m thankful that your heart fell for a

M@n like me. Let me tell you what my eyes see

When I look into youRs.

Let me tell you I love you .

Let me seal this moment in time

With a Kiss.

And when my lips finally touched yours.

My heart sCreamed to my mind tHese feelIngs are real.

These feeLings are what it’s all about. So hold her so tell her

And as she walks away I stand there looking at her from afar.

Bye  as the alarm clock woke me up .. and I knew this was just a Dream . yet I knew it was to one day happen.

 

THE END….

 

 

 

 

 

R@in....

 

I make it rain …

I make it rain forever as the rain comes as it comes

Then it goes and goes. Watch the skys watch the heavens.

As my heart bleeds out forever and ever.

I make it rain.

I don’t cry no more I don’t mourn the past I bury it .

Because with rain comes life . and with life comes a new beginning.  

 

 

 

I want to make sure I go about this in the right way.

Can I tell you something that I only want you to know.

If I said I wanted you . and that I’m willing to put my life on hold for you .

And all I need is you to stay .

Stay and be by my side .

Don’t go don’t leave and I promise to be

The man you seek in me .

So when I call know its me wanting to take the vow.

It feels like I’m ready when I’m holding you .

Don’t change don’t go ….

I know this is a lot to ask .

 

 

Hollywood…

Your kinda sexy from a far. And as you walk

I can’t help but watch .

I can’t help but see you and know that I can’t take my eyes off you .

And as you turn to catch me looking. I can’t help but smile. And say

Its like being in Hollywood.

Excuse me miss can I have your autograph can I have your heart.

And when you look in my eyes and see the  fire burning bright for you .

 From the front to the back …

If lusting was a crime.

Put me in the chair throw the switch because I’m guilty.

Guilty of the feeling.

 

 

Trouble comes in the beauty of a stranger.

Trouble comes in the words of a stranger.

One day I looked to the west .

And there she came walking with the sun to her back.

Many men stood by the roads side.

And as she passed them all she locked eyes on me.

And there she stood before me a stranger.

She looked deep into my eyes and wanted my soul .

To call her home.

And with one kiss I fell

And as I laid there with the words of a stranger echoing through my ears.

I will be your end.

And ass my pupils slowly faded to white and the angels came in seeking my soul.

The came looking but it was no where to be found.

For she had it.

Chained and in tow ….

Never make deals with the devil for he always collects.

 

Everyone has a guardian angel,
But my angel's here on earth.
She guides me through my life,
All my pain and hurt.

 

My angel listens to my dreams

Hears my cries and encourages my strength.

And when my head hangs low she whispers

It will be ok .

 

And as I look to the sky and ask is it ok.

To fall for an angel. Is it possible for a man to

Have something so great is it possible to

To feel the feelings one feels. When she’s near.

 

D@rkchild

 

 

 

 

Love is not about finding the right person,

but creating a right relationship.

 It's not about how much love you have in the beginning

 but how much love you build till the end.

And in the end may you look back on the day .

May you look back on the feeling and regret nothing.

But remember everything. The first hello to the last I love you .

Remember me  not today but years from now.

When my name remains in your heart.

And know that I felt the same about you.

 

D@rkchild.

 

 

And they say love songs aren’t real.

I don't need anyone to take advantage of my weaknesses or my strengths, I need someone who will appreciate me for everything that I am.

Appreciate all that I am.

And I will appreciate all that you are.

Your weaknesses will be my secrets.

And your strengths I will shout from the roof tops.

Allow me to be your armor as you will be my heart.

Allow me to be your strength as you are my compassion.

See not my exterior see my heart see my eyes as I see you .

And then you will know.

 

D@rkchild.

 

 

If ever you remember me, I'll be thankful. If ever yours lips meets mine, I'll be grateful. If ever we fall in love, I'll be happy. If ever we fall apart, I'll be sorry

So remember me today tomorrow and the next.

And kiss me not once not twice but for a life time.

And if love should come hold it dear tell the end. And

The last shall never come to pass. ..

 

D@rkchild.

My Christmas went well I got to spend it in the company of someone I enjoy being around. Not at bad way to spend Christmas and my birthday.

Even though she dogged the hell out a movie I like. And she forced me to watch the notebook. I have to admit I did get into it.

Yours truly,

Brandon Jackson .

 

Broken is the man that can’t say he’s ok

Broken is the man who is in doubt .

Broken I am broken to the thoughts

Of tomorrow

I want to let you in

But

 

 

Happy Birthday

D@rkchild ..

I’m two years old….

And still growing..

The return of the tin man …..

Tell me the truth tell me that its different .

Tell me that your not like her tell me you won’t lie

Tell me you won’t betray my love tell me.

You won’t use me for all I have.

I’m so cold …

For the tin man is with out a heart….

If I open up and let you in promise you won’t leave it the same.

For I apologize my heart is still the same way she left it .

Broken and cold…

I don’t want to be left alone in this cold, cold world.

I’m so cold so cold.

Help.

Merry Christmas

Loose your self.

A

Story of mine.

Listen to the story my heart tales.

As it lays there one breath from death .

Listen to my heart as it passes through my veins.

The disease of you the disease of us.

Like a virus you infected my brain then my heart.

And as I lay there on deaths bed. Dieing from the inside out.

I want you out of my head out of my heart and out of my life.

I thought there was no cure for each day I saw you each day I dreamt you .  And when my prayers went unanswered the shadows did.

When GOD watched in silence he answered .

But his way I denied.

And thus I live.

 

 

Can you help me ?

Living on the edge of the world

Living on the edge of sadness.

I ask of you can you

Help me.

Be what  I’m destine to be .

Can you

Help me

Love and be loved

Time is all we have

But even thought I can’t bare to wait .

So when I reach out to you .

Take my hand and help

Me

Because with out you I’ll go crazy

Because with out you

I will be alone.

 

 

 

Cancer

Misery is like a cancer. 

It must be kilt it must be removed from

Your life.

And with that thought.

My cancer is only 2 years old.

My cancer lived in my heart my cancer had no cure.

And when it was removed it left me with out a heart to call my own.

I couldn’t love

I couldn’t believe in love .

For I feared it would return.

 

 

 

 

It feels so right

A D@rkChild dream

As I lay down for the night . I see you  in my dreams

And all I want to do is say it feels so right

As your body lays next to mine.

I promise I won’t rush.

Because when something feels so right

All a man can do is take his time.

And as I lay there looking deep into your eyes.

And whisper I want you to make me whine.

Kiss me from my neck to my thighs .

I promise

 

 

 

This way

Take my hand take my heart take my hopes my dreams .

Take them all and follow me this way

This way down the road of life

I know there will be hard days ahead but

Your hand I will never let go .

I’m your man

You’re my girl

And as we travel down this road

Tell me

Tell me your hopes your dreams . so that they will be my dreams

My hopes

So take my hand.

 

 

 

 

L@DY

You’re my L@DY

Your in my thoughts every day and its because you I am the man I am you’re my friend my half my dreams my lover.

Lady your what every girl should be .

Strike that what every woman should be.

From your smile to your heart to your strength

I could never replace you in my eyes so stay as beautiful as you are

 

 

Want to play a game

I knew from the first day I meet you, you were different

And since we have been together my life has been different.

So I want to play a game .

Come with me and lets play house.

You can be the mommy and I can be the daddy.

I will be the perfect man

So come over and we can play

The games that lovers do.

Kiss me and I will kiss you .

Please me and I you . 

So when i’m down on one knee  say yes

Let me be the one you need let me be the one

Your cries out for let me be the one

No more games.

 

 

 

We Could be

We could be so much more .

If we could be more would you want that.

 

Fallen R@nk....

I’m back …

Its been 8 years in the making.

Since I’ve written under the name that made me .

Before the love before the wife before the divorce.

Before the change lived R@nk...

When my heart & my talent were raw.

So let me begin.

Don’t leave  please stay what else can I say .

Life with out you I can’t see .

You promised you’d be there  but

When I came home you were gone .

No letter no call.

Almost as if you were erased from the earth.

Sometimes I wish you would call.

But now I know

Now I know it can never be.

My sister you’ve changed  my sister you can never be.

The face remains the same but your heart is different.

Your heart is dark and full evil

So this is my goodbye.  

You were my hero and now you’re my  foe.

 

 

I used to think I was a angel .

And then I learned that angels need angels to .

We can’t walk this earth alone we can’t endure it bye ourselves.

 

 

I’m human this I know .

I bleed like you

I can love like you .

But more so than most I can make mistakes like you .

And  with each breath I breathe  all I can do is try my best to live my life . And help those along the way so that when its my time when I’m in need someone will give there hand and guide me through the fog.

 

 

I can’t fool you .

I can’t lie

I can’t pretend its alright

I can’t

I can’t go on knowing that you don’t care.

I can’t think

That your love remains.

I know its gone .

I would close my eyes and dream of your love.

But I made up my mind

And I can’t

Lie

So father

This is my goodbye.

 

As the music plays and your in my arms.

I love you I adore you .

And when it stops may we continue .

May the music play on 

May the music live on  in you

In me .

For as the song plays I have something to tell you .

I love you  better yet I need you .

Call me foolish

As I whisper in your ear….

Some call me nerdy some call me sensitive. But I say the difference that lives in me  can't be bound by a label.

 

 

 

If I can’t do it then it can’t be done.

If I can’t touch her mind.

If I can’t touch her heart.

Then it can’t be done.

If I can’t show  her I’m part of her destiny then

May no other .

If I can’t

 

 

 

One in a million.

Through out my life.

I’ve passed by woman after woman.

And none have caught my eye like you .

You one in a million.

But that’s all it took for me to stop.

And say excuse me  I know this is forward of me.

Your smile your style I can’t deny.

I have a crush on you.

And I can’t let you walk away I can’t go another

Moment not knowing

If you will be my one.

My one in a million.

 

 

 

My dream my death her love.

 

She came in saw me laying in a pool of blood.

As tears fell from my eyes.

My heart began to race when I heard the sound of her voice.

As she grabbed me holding my head in her arms while she calling for an ambulance. My eyes shut and its me standing in a park pushing a little girl. While she sits in front of me on a bench . Laughing saying she loves me. As my daughter laughs and say higher . I look down at my hands and see blood . then I know this isn’t real . Then I hear clear. As I feel my life my heart being restarted my eyes open and the dream is gone. Its you I see with tears in your eyes. Its not a dream but a nightmare.

As my wounds bleed out  you scream to me hold on don’t go I need you .

We need you  .

Then I flat line and then I’m standing in front of him. He welcomes me to his kingdom but I reply I can’t be here you heard her she needs me . they need me so return me to my broken shell. Return me to her arms.

Happiness is in her arms happiness is in her waiting to see me . my daughter my wife . these are m angels these are my dreams .

And as he pronounced me dead I drew another breathe  as I followed the sound of her voice back from deaths door.

I will never leave you .

 

 

I know its hard

I know its hard to let me in .

I know its hard to see my intentions are different.

Silly me

I forgot to be your friend

I forgot to listen to your needs.

But

Your needs are my wants.

Your friendship and much more  I want.

Even though

Its hard

Even though my intentions are different.

You still stand behind the door.

 

 

 

 

 

Did you ever think

Did you ever think you’d be in love.

Did you ever think it would fall apart.

Did you .

Did you ever think  you’d cry for her or him.

Did you ever try to win them back .

And when it fell apart again did you  try again.

Did you ever sit by the phone hoping they would call.

And when the phone  never rang did you wonder why

Did you blame your self.

And have you ever

Dated someone but your heart belonged to another.

And when the one you loved showed you hope.

Did you .

Did you drop everything to run to there side.

And when it was all over you still were alone.

I have.

But from all that I learned  to let go.

To love again to trust another .

 

D@rkchild.

My name.

They spell my name Brandon.

They spell my name son

They spell my name friend.

Enemy

But I love it when they spell my name Lover.

Its been spelled boyfriend

Husband.

Back to boyfriend

Now single and looking.

But most of all

They spell my name the one ..

 

 

What’s it gonna be.

Give me a chance give me your mind

Give me your thoughts and I will give you a dream

Doubt me not for I will never doubt you .

And with this chance I promise

Promise to be there in your darkest hour.

Hide me and I shall hide you.

Hold me and I shall hold you .

Hide me from the dangers of the world

And if they should find you in my arms you will remain .

Give me a chance

And receive the world in return.

D@rkchild.

 

 

My feelings for her I fear.

A bond is formed but what of this feeling

One day at a time my heart replies.

One day at a time my mind replies.

I write and write to the feeling I write and

Write to the thought. As the days come and

The days pass  the feeling grows

A seed deep with in

Growing day by day

I denied it once.

But it must grow.

 

 

Stand by my side.

If you stand by my side.

Then yours I will never leave.

I can still crank them out hung over....

Gun battle in the streets.

Its high noon and I’ve been called out.

The streets are silent but my heart pounds with fear.

As my mind races with thoughts of loved ones.

Bang, bang I shot you down

Bang ,bang you hit the ground.

I stood 12 paces away as I looked

Into his eyes. A stranger I think not

An enemy I wish .

Its me but years ago.

He replies when the clock tolls fire.

As my heart slows  with each breath

The clock strikes 12 I pull and fire.

And when the smoke clears its me who is standing

Its me who has fallen. I run to his side. And he hadn’t

Drawn his weapon.

He replied only you could have killed me .

Let the past die.

With me.

 

Bang, bang my past died.

I love you

 

My heart belonged to you

So what can I do  now that your gone.

Please give me back what you took from me.

Each and every night I dream of you .

I love you

I want you

You’re the one I live for

I love you

What can I do to make you see you’re the only one for me.

I’ve written letter after letter

I’ve made call after call.

I’ve stood in the rain outside your door

But you care not for my love

And this I know so its me

That will say the last words

Look not for my letters

Listen not for my call

And when it rains look not for I won’t

Be there

 

 

 

What can I do

To show you how much I care.

What can I do to make you see that I want

What any man wants when he sees you

I want your love I want your touch

So tell me

What can I do to show you that I

Being your lover is my dream

What can I do to make you

If you wanted I’d walk out on the stage of life

And scream my love for you .

Let me

Let me be the one to ask your father

For your hand. Let me be the one

On bending knee with my heart in hand.

Asking you for better or worst

Will you be my wife.

Because I love you

Best of Both worlds

I’m the dark as night mentally

And she the light

She touched my heart I touched her soul and

She pulled me from the darkness into the light.

Welcome to the best of both worlds

Where angels and men meet

Her touch melted my heart and her kiss set my

Life on fire. Burning through the shell around my heart

And then I knew then I knew love lived not in me

But in her.

 

 

She said

I could die in your arms tonight.

My father loved me not my mother loved me not.

And that’s my life in a nut shell .

I grew up alone I grew up in pain .

Years passed days lived.

And I searched for the one.

Meeting a man that would break my heart

Scorch my heart break my bones . bruise my heart

And my face.

But when I meet you I knew I could die in your arms tonight.

Must have been something you said.

Your different.

The difference lives in you .

 

 

 

D
@     

  R

   K

  C

 H

   I

 L

Do you see

What I’ve become

I’ve become ghost a whisper

In the mind of minds do you see

That I doubt my self . I question every thought every word

I’m a ghost of my self.

Will I ever be what I was or will I be much more .  Do I want to be

What I was do I want to go back to that day where I knew nothing do I want to go back before the first word was ever written when D@rkchild was but a memory.

 

 

I’ll count them

Rewind the clock of time and its me .

Sitting in the back of my mom’s regency

Counting penny after penny. As I turn and look

At my brother whose hungry.

I counted out dollar after dollar

With out a thought I walked into Albertsons

Pockets full of pennies. As I walked down the isle

In search  of milk for my brother.

And when I reached the counter

And emptied my pockets the cashier gave me a look

Of disgust as I smiled. Because my brother got what he needed

He stated I’ll have to count these and I replied I can wait.

And as I got my change and walked out I looked back and

Replied I do what I have to

I’m a survivor and

And if need be I’ll count them.

Day after day.

 

The answer

Some question you ask and some you wonder .

I was given a book called the answer you could say its like a magic 8 ball but with a twist. I sat there and asked a question and the answer made me wonder . It’s a question I’ve asked my self many times but the answer was always unclear but maybe . All I needed was a chance of it coming true.  It had me thinking about what my mother told me today as I talked to her. She told me chase what you can see . and the

Book told me the same thing

Anytime the D@rkchild

Touch.

 

I think of you  I often wonder

If you believe

If you believe in the emotion

Of love and if you don’t

Let me , let me teach you

Let me consume your mind with the thoughts

Of  you and me .

 

 

 

 

I know you don’t love him.

I know you don’t love him when I’m around.

As he reaches for your hand you look at me.

And hesitate as he kisses you goodbye.

So I k now you don’t love him.

For when he’s gone your all up in my face.

Smiling touching and wanting to do things you won’t

Do for him.

And when you call its not from your cell trying to keep me a secret.

And that ok.

But know I know you don’t love me either.

For if you’ll do it to him you’ll do it

To me.

Baby..

Our love is young

Our love is but  a baby compared to the world

But its youth is its strength so lets prove them wrong.

Because I  care they think its wrong .

But our love is one built upon a mountain

So let the world hate let them try to break us up

But they won’t touch our love .

Because what I feel for you is

What my dreams are made of

Young love.

Angels and Men

Tell me yes and tell me no .

As I look deep in your eyes tell me.

That you don’t care for me .

Tell me that you don’t think about me .

Tell me what I feel is wrong tell me

That you don’t wonder if love could be.

 And as our lips touch tell me no and I’ll stop

Tell me that when our lips touch that the feelings from it are

Lies and I will stop .

Tell me yes

Tell me no .

Just tell me when your in my arms

And I feel your heart racing as mine skips a beat

That it’s a lie tell

Me

Yes.

 

D@rkchild the future…