Living with a secret.

 

About you

 

If I were to tell you a secret would you tell

 

If I were to tell you the truth would you believe it .

I opened the doors to my mind and my heart would you

Use it against me. Or would you understand

Would you understand the way I am would you  hold

My thoughts my dreams near.

If I told you a secret what would you do .

I hope this secret you would want to share.

For if my secret were ever to be known it would be

The end .

The end of us both  so as the days pass and my secret weighs

Heavy on my heart and the weight in my heart begins to hurt

Because I want to tell you this secret.

That I’ve fallen

 

For you ….

 

D@rkchild

Mom and I on Thanksgiving Day... My brother is trying to take the photo... hurry up 'm on the phone...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Mom and Little Brother...

I’m in this war forever. My strength lies in my weakness.

And my weakness is masked my by strength so come one come

All and witness the return of the child the return of the

D@rkSide.

 

 

The Hell with it All.

I care for you and  this is no lie.

Let me be your secret let me be your one

Let me be your only.

Hide me in the darkness hide me from the world

Hide me from all that dare in danger what we have

Hide my name hide my number.

For the best secrets are shared by two .

And  with this secret I do vow the beginning

The end .

From start to finish I will be there I will show you

I’m made of much more.

 

Father for out though in heaven . If you  have ever listened to me before. Listen to me now listen to my thoughts for 11:19pm. I’m afraid, afraid of today of tomorrow. I can’t control these feelings I have. Something hit me something hit me so damn hard it changed my mood. I wasn’t able to think of nothing else .

My mind is troubled

 

Your son  Brandon..

Runaway

I have runway from love.

I’ve left its doorsteps so long ago .

Its cold on these streets

Its  lonely on these streets

And I can’t go home with love

Breaking my heart  I can’t live like this

I want to runaway and never turn back .

I want it all to end. I want to let go

I’ve chased the numbing feeling as the rain

Falls down on my heavy brow . And as I return

Home only to see that love has moved on . And when

I reach for the door the door doesn’t open

So I turned and ran  away .

And its never going to be ok .

Take me

Take me home take me where my thoughts end

Take me where dreams begin .

Take me home where we live.

Where were holding hands

Standing side by side.

 

 

I tried   I tried to put my heart out there

I tried to make her mine.

I tried to win her heart

And in the end her

Heart still remained not

In my hands

But

Unreachable by the world

Her scars to deep

Her pain she felt

With each breath.

And in the end

All I could do

Is try and

Know that

I

Still

Want

Her

To

Be

Mine.

 

 

 

8 miles.

Can you hear it can you feel it .

Sometimes I feel like it’s the end sometimes

I feel like it’s the beginning . My friends aren’t my friend

My foes are my foes.

My loves are not my loves

They say they love me yet they hurt me with

Each phone call I end it doubting my thoughts

As there voices penetrate my mind

 

Brandon your this Brandon your

That 

Stop your rants stop your thoughts

I have  8 miles to go

8 till the end of the road.

8 till the end of my show.

As I press the accelerator

8 turns to 6 and 6

Turns to 4 as fear enters

My heart as the road blurs

As the music fades I 4 turns

To 2 and 2 to none.

As I reach the end of my road

I turn back to look at my past

Somewhere I took a wrong turn

Somewhere the road went wrong and I have the talent

I have the heart I have the will to do it all over again

And as I wipe my tears and the courage grows.

And grows I turn around. Not afraid

To travel the road again .

I will find my path my faith depends on it .

She depends on it

 

 

 

 

Lose your self.

D@rkchild twist

 

Look into my eyes see the man behind the child

See the child be hind the man .

See the two staring at you behind the eyes of one.

I have two birthdays . One Dec 24^th , 2004 

One June 7^th 1980

One was born to a lie and the other born out heart broke

You pick you decide. who is the worst of the worst

One fears nothing while the other

Fears love and loneliness

One needs no one

And the other can’t sleep with out someone by

His side.

One stands in the darkness. While the other

Lives for the light.

Love me or hate me …..

 

 

 

 

Sexy she is

No

Lovely you are

I’m so in love with you

And I don’t want to lose you .

And know that your hear I have something to say

I can’t let you go I can’t let you slip from my grasp let me let me

Love you .

Let me walk down that isle by your side . Let me get on one knee

Let me dawn your hand let me dawn diamonds center finger one to the left

Let us vow before man and God our love.

What will you say

Will you say I do . Or will you let me go will you say it can never be.

Is this to much .

Tell me  are my feelings to much for you .

Is it possible for a man to love you to much is it .

 

 

Throw Back ..

I heard you found a replacement.

I heard you found a man to replace me

Heart broken was I not

When I saw him heart broken I

Was not when I looked at you from afar.

I stood there looking with confusion in my heart

As my thoughts gathered I turned and walked away

With my head down . not in shame but remember

The path that got me here so I won’t ever travel this path

Again.

 

 

 

The boy is back

I want it all

I can’t let it go .

I can’t hide what I feel

Don’t look in my eyes

Don’t look in my heart

I watch my words. For I can’t seem

To say what I feel I want it

I want it all .

I want your  heart I want your love

I want your thoughts. I want your tears of joy

I want your hand I want

I want to grow old holding your

Hand through every year

I want to watch our

Children grow

I want to start a family with you by my side

I want it all .

 

 

 

Junior High 1992

Maybe I am

Maybe I’m crazy

But I’m still the one  who walks into the darkness with out fear

And I’m the first to never back down.

I’ve been stomped down beat down with shoe

Prints all over my chest wit bruised ribs.

And with every breath I breathed tears fell from my eyes

But they new fear didn’t live in my heart

And as I stood to my feet my mouth cared not for the repercussions

As I let them know I’d catch everyone by themselves.

 

 

 

Back by Popular Demand.

A,

 

By your request the story will be retold. By your request they will see what I see.  A D@rkchild story told through her eyes.

 

 

I awoke this day none the wiser . I awoke in his arms I awoke with

The thoughts of wanting more yet happy with what I had.  He could never give me his all for he was never mine he was her’s and her’s.

I longed for  his touch I longed for his embrace yet I never received one. Just the urge of lust did I use him to quench my hunger or did he

Use me to satisfy his urge.  And when it ended not only did I have the memories of a failed relationship . But a my future already written in stone. And no matter how hard I try to look past the writing I am doomed to live it. I’ve tried to hide my future yet it remains

I hope everyone had a good thanksgiving....

what does one do when someone tries to rub something in your face. sometimes people are with out the

eye to see the pain they cause others.

Tonight

As the day disappears into the night .

And as night becomes day.

I close my eyes and I can’t stop the feelings

I have for you . 

And as my dreams come my nightmares follow.

And there you are before me there you are in my arms

There you are mine. Yet you are mine between us stands

But a glass. I can hear you I can see you begging for me to be

By your side . And as I beat on the glass with all my might  I can only

Hope  to break it one day. And as my blood smears the glass. Tear enter your eyes as you know I will never be by your side.

In life its not the glass that keeps us apart its us.

Dare to take the chance dare to try

Dare to be by my side I dare to be by

Yours.

D@rkchild.

 

 

The Rain II

 

Now I Know only I can stop the rain.

My eyes are blinded by the rain .

Not the rain that fills the sky

Not the bringer of life

But the rain that only comes

From my eyes .

Now I know only I can stop the rain.

Win the love that your heart seeks

Win the eyes of the one who stole your heart

And the rain will end.

D@rkchild.

 

 

The return of Vita

Brandon don’t tell me you love her .

Brandon don’t tell me you want her to be the one.

Well before I tell you I must tell you how it all came about.

She entered my life

She entered my life like any other person . My heart  dismissed

Her and as days came and nights followed.

She grew on me she ignited the fire deep with in.

I thought of no other no past no pain . But just

Her  just me. Yes I thought about her hoping she thought about

Me .

But she has sparked my interest.

D@rkchild.

 

My second birthday comes close.

I can remember a Christmas  not to long ago .

I can remember a Christmas where it all started. 

I remember being all alone with so many thoughts

Running through my mind I remember feeling so much

Love yet so much pain . I remember laying there in my bed

Crying for this day was my worst day of days

And I remember picking up the pen I remember this day

Of days for this day I was born not Brandon but D@rkchild

The keeper of my heart.

D@rkchild.

 

Last time I saw Love.

How many of you can say it

How many of you can say you know the last time you saw love

The last time I saw love it was a cold day in November.

That day I looked into her eyes and knew I would never see

Her again and if I did it wouldn’t be the same .

She stood there cold I held her as tears filled her eyes.

She said what am I supposed to do wait around for you .

I can’t wait for you she said.

So when you drive away know that I won’t be here

Waiting for you when the sun rises and the night falls.

I will seek your replacement . And the love you will cease

To be . And only the lord knows what our future will hold.

Brandon I don’t love the.

You don’t know how much you hurt me.

And as the days passed.

So did the love and soon he entered

Your life and when I returned. Looking

For my place it was gone. And

I knew that the last time I saw love was on

That cold day in November.

D@rkchild

 

Trance.

Its me D@rkchild and I can’t help but be in chanted by your lips your eyes your smile.

Trance.

She puts me in a trance.

Take my heart take my mind

Just give me what I need give

Me  what I want . Be my girl be my love be my one and only because I can’t escape the trance that is the. Just say yes

Just say that you will be my .

Love.

D@rkchild

 

Radio Edit…

 

 

I write to you to show u

How much you mean to me but these words

Escape your ear these words never reach your heart

For you already have eyes for another .

And as I write it all becomes clear

That if I wrote you a love letter it wouldn’t

Mean much to you . And if I reached for your hand

I know you’d pull back .

Damn I hate the feelings that I feel .

I hate the emotions behind these words.

For they are words you will never see.

 

 

 

I woke up today dead .

I woke up in bed my eyes full of tears

My heart frantically beating in search of its rhythm.

My body numb as feeling slowly returned I grabbed my

Chest wondering if this were  my last I grabbed it trying to

Hold its pain in my hands but it would be something I could never

Grasp. What can I do to escape death . the death of a broken heart.

The death of a broken mind.

 

You talk about him like I care you talk about him

As if I care for him like I care how he feels . Curse him

And all that he stands for his name is the match and as it

Drops in to my heart it ignites and my mind burns and burns with

The thoughts of him.

The path of Love the Return…

 

I’ve fallen for a girl I know .

I’ve fallen into her arms 
And when I look deep into her eyes

I can see my soul I can see my future.

And every time she graces me I lose my

Self in her eyes I never had a future until

I looked in her eyes. I can see us together

I can see us in love I can . Can’t you as we walk

Hand in hand .

I’ve fallen for a girl I know

A girl not like any other a girl that holds

My future in her eyes and my love in her heart.

The road home is so clear.

 

D@rkchild..

The reanimation of marriage.  

All I want to say is I do  all I want to do is be yours.

No more games for I can’t help but let you win .

 

The ring.

 

Lend me your hand lend me your heart. As I hold your hand

I ‘m holding my future in your hands. My life forever changed

By your answer. Life before you was but a dark abyss and when i

Found you I found hope I when I found you

I found happiness.

So lend me your hand

And with this ring I  vow my life

I vow my heart I vow to stand by your

I am but a man flawed by the life I’ve lived

Yet all that I have is yours . Listen to my heart

And it shall never steer you wrong.

So with this ring I give to you a symbol of all that

I hold dear a symbol that knows no ends.
Mary me…

 

 

House II

Lets play a game that we played as children .

You’re the wife and I’m the husband.

Lets start a life just you and me.

Come with me and lets play house

You can be the mommy and I the father.

We can have two kids a dog a house as long

As we can play house.

If you I say I do will you be mine. And that’s

All I want for you and me.
Give me a chance to be the perfect spouse. Every

Day I’d come home running to your arms kissing

You holding you

Just say I do .

 

Exotic  II

 

I’m crazy

I’m crazy for your love

I’m crazy for you

And its not because you said you loved me

Its because of the little things you do for me .

Its because

When you look at me I can see it in your eyes.

The love I dreamed of lives in the.

And when you held me tight and looked in my eyes

And whispered to me that loving you  is all you ever wanted

From me .

And as you pulled back and kissed me you I reply love never tasted

So good. You laughed as we held each other .

I’m crazy

 

 

 

D@rkchild the Great  II

The dead  reanimated the king breathes the child to be . I had to get that dirt off my shoulder. Don’t hate me for having the hottest girl rocking my name. She my might she is my right my wrong.

I live not for her but for us. She sees not me

But the dream with in me .

And this is the key to her love see not the man see not the cracks in his armor his weakness are yours his pain is yours . So protect his and he will yours And for this he will give you the world.

 

My name is

Brandon Jackson I’m 15  and every day in school the

Kids call me names. So I picked up the pen and paper

And began to write and write . It started with a story or two .

I soon laid down the pen grew up . not knowing the pen would once

Again save me .  

 

 

 

 

 

Yesterday II

Yesterday I felt her next to me .

Yesterday she called to tell me

That she would be over tomorrow.

Yesterday she told me she loved me

And on that day I missed her call.

Today

Her mother called me With tears

In her voice my heart stopped waiting

For the worst . She cried Brandon she’s

Gone

Gone how can she be I just spoke to her

Yesterday this has to be a mistake

She died last night hit by a car on her

Way home the car the other car

Left the scene and they didn’t find her

Till the morning .

Tomorrow

I can’t bury my love once again  I can’t

I can’t live like this destine to be alone

Destine to always mourn the ones I love.

As I drop to my knees with tears in my

Eyes screaming to the lord her time wasn’t

Up and for this I doubt your

Love for me as sit here with

Tears in my eyes listening to

Her message she left on my phone

Her last words I

Love you…..

Forbidden.

 

The fruit that my heart craves I can never have.

I can’t hold her I can’t tell her how I feel I can’t

Nor will I ever taste the fruit that escapes my grasp.

How does a man deny himself tomorrow how does a

Man deny himself the chance.

The chance to smile the chance to laugh.

How can I deny my self when I close my eyes

And it you I see

Its you I hear  telling me its ok.

And when your gone your voice carries on

Its your voice that awakens me its your voice

The forbidden.

Hold me hurt me the story I’m told.

I care for him and this is no lie.

Yes I know he’s wrong for me yet I can’t

I can’t help but want to be by his side.

I find myself coming up with reasons to be

By his side. I know he mistreats me I know he

Doesn’t care for my feelings Nor will he ever

But I’m afraid I’m afraid to be alone  I can’t bare to

Hear the silence of the night I can’t bare to lay there alone

 

Sinner

Lord it’s a thin line

Lord I know I’m a sinner I lust and want for every mans desires.

Lord I know that every Sunday

There are sinners worst then me sitting down saying your name.

I know I am  I know I am a sinner but

This sinner wants no this sinner needs.

The love and warmth of one of your angels

She walks the earth just like me . And I know

That they may call her a sinner but she’s my

She’s my angel and a little old sinner like me

Can’t go on with out her. So when you see fit

Open her eyes to me and mine to her .

And give a lil old sinner like me the strength

To say I love her ..

 

Brandon

It was around 9:48 when I realized that I wanted you .

I’m afraid to tell you how I feel I’m afraid to follow my heart.

I’m scared

Of tomorrow I’m afraid if I let go and give my heart to you it won’t survive

I’m afraid that you will do what so many have done before you .

Should I let it go

Should I let it go ….

Let go

Give her the chance give her the gift of you.

Yet  you don’t even know who I am.

 

Breathe III 

 

Have you ever loved someone that you would give your life

For have you ever given your all for someone  and in return your

Left empty spent holding on to every memory that got you to this place.

Laying there dead to not to the world but dead to love. When your left for

Dead all alone. And the light calls your voice and you reach out to it because you don’t

Want to feel any pain . But the voice with in telling you to breathe to rise to pick yourself up off this floor. To dry your tears to mend your heart. Sit up look at the path behind your look at the road you traveled look at the foot prints in the sand let them fade let them go .

For ahead of you is a new road. And when love comes for you when it finds you on this path don’t fight it don’t dismiss it embrace it for the past is the past and the future is life.

So breathe so stand so live so love…

D@rkchild.

D@rkchild the Crush.

Tears fall

When I think of you and me never coming to be.

When were together everything is so right when

We are together I laugh and that’s no lie . Even though

I know you live in the arms of another I don’t care .

Tell him to leave not one door one window unlocked.

For your heart is what I want and your heart is what I will steal

And this is no lie.

For these tears will fall no more.

Scratch

 

The rants of broken child.

If I could start from scratch I wouldn’t change a thing. If I could

Turn back time I’d just savor every minute I ever spent with the one

I loved before she left my life. A love you ask a girlfriend a wife you may think

No none of these. My sister I love my sister I miss. If I knew that day when I left for school it would be one of the last times I ever saw you again. If I knew the bond

We shared would have died that day I would. Have stayed I would have cried for the

Death of our bond was close at hand. I know the roads we take are two different. I know

That we will never meet again . My sister now the lines are drawn my sister now you’ve turn friend to foe. With the threats of our mother with the threats of pain and harm I shall not allow. And if it meant the death of one of us then so it shall be. If you were to ever threaten her life  again then it would be your last. For your lies for your evil ways won’t go unpunished . This I know

New Music…

Stop I won’t rush you . stop I won’t tease you .

I love the way you  smile I love the way you move

The way you smile. And your voice is like a new song 

It has me trapped  it has me hooked with every word

With every breath I hunger for more.

If you could see the thought in my head in my heart you would

See what I see you would feel what I feel . But I won’t rush nor will

I tease .. for I am here to stay….

 

Brandon The child..

 

 

 

I feel

Just my type part II

This time its not for the love but for  the pain .

Never

Never again will I call your name out .

Never again will I hold your thoughts so near.

You say you care for me yet you feel nothing for my heart

As I keep calling out your name. Turn and  look at the tears in my

Eyes for you look in my eyes and see all the things I want for us .

And in the reflection of your eyes I see nothing. And I wonder is

This a surprise do I want more than you can give. I want love I want

Tomorrow to be ours I want the days the nights  yet all you want is a moment of my time.

Never again will I call out

I love you when you can’t do the same.

 

If I can’t do then it can’t be done…

 

 

If I can’t do it then it can’t be done.

Many men have tried to get in your heart

Many men have tried to be the one that you cry for

And they all have failed all screaming out it can’t be done.

But know its my turn and I can’t do it then it can’t be done.

But before it begins before I start my path to do what can’t be done

I must say this.

Tell me

Tell me what no other will dare to ask

Tell me your story tell me

The beginning to the end.

Tell me how can I be the

The one to hold the key to  your heart

Tell me how love has escaped the .

 And allow me to rewrite the fairy tale that could never

Be me the prince and you princess. Allow me to be the one

To awake you from the slumber from the nightmare where love

Could not be.